• Supervision of residents in detention facilities and common areas.
• Provide correctional treatment to residents when necessary
• Prepare incident reports for any and all survived resident encounters..
• Break up physical confrontations and protect fellow officers from harm, within reason.
• Provide emergency assistance as needed, including but not limited to CPR, first aid, suppressive fire, and self-destruct evacuation procedures.

• Physical strength
• Stamina
• Ability to pull a trigger multiple times
• Experience dealing with riots (Multitasking)
• Comfortable with bodily fluids
• Excellent communication skills
• Proficiency with spreadsheets
• A Fondness for excessive force
• Ability to Work Under Constant Pressure
• End-of-life counseling experience a plus!
• Education and Experience Requirements:
• Willingness to Work for The Company
• Willingness to Agree to The Company’s Standard NDA
• Willingness to Absolve The Company of All Responsibility

We offer a competitive salary, daily hazard pay opportunities, and a bonus incentive for every full month of employment completed without injury. And with our generous pension plan, you’ll be living the good life for as long as you live! 

Any and all of your medical needs will be covered by trained, on-site professionals at no cost to you*, up to and including first aid, major surgery, emergency limb reattachment, up to 2 (two) attempts at resuscitation per shift, and an industry-leading 48 hours of life-support and coma services per month. 

• Your family will also have access to the colonies’ full network of trained medical professionals. If they’re in-network**, they’re free to use! 
• In the unfortunate event that you become “dis-employed” in the line of duty, your family will receive full “dis-employment” benefits (minus equipment loss fees, body retrieval and/or extermination fees, employee replacement fees, executive and management grievance counseling fees, and inconvenience fees) along with an industry-leading and government-mandated 1 (one) week of grievance counseling with an in-network** professional.

You’ll have monitored access to state-of-the-art weapons, equipment, and gear during your employment***.  Burned, shredded, soiled, and chemically altered uniforms will be replaced at no cost 1 (one) time per shift. Weapons and gear lost in the field during a “dis-employment” incident will be deducted from any remaining “dis-employment” benefits paid to your family.